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Sex in high volumes. Ten pm rolls around and a slew of messages light up my phone. Out of interest I switch my search option from women to men.

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Ten pm rolls around and a slew of messages light up my phone. Some I recognise from my school days, others I work.

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That particular discovery was awkward. Plus my free trial ended.

An egotistical spiel about my life and several of my finest mug shots later, my profile is complete. Time to fish.

And the smart phone app makes it so easy. It feels like I hit the ground running when I spark up a conversation with a girl apparently no more than metres from my front door.

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I arrange to meet her too, at a different pub two hours after my first date. An hour before my first date she pulls out with some lame excuse about not having a car to get.

No reply. Undeterred I head to the pub in Horsham town centre and wait, and wait, and wait.

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The realisation makes me giggle, which must have made me look even more like an alcoholic with a pint and a glass of wine now to.

Nursing a bruised ego I polish off the drinks and retreat home. What I need after that is some man time and I look forward to my squash game at the weekend.

The following days I exchange more flirtatious messages with a number of women but nothing comes of it. I have countless conversations which seem to go nowhere and just fizzle.

They get their ego massaged and leave. Horshamm girl mate of mine, however, tells of a completely different side to online dating. She joined POF around the same time I did and has had countless approaches from local men with all manner of propositions.

Yes, Fuck massage Purley criminals are dating online. Amongst these odd men there are, she spp me, some decent guys looking for that special. Out of interest I switch my search option from women to men.

There are plenty of people eager to make new connections on Plenty of Fish.

Scores of topless men stare aggressively at me. I really hope these tasteless photos are not what women are looking. Descriptions of themselves make my face crinkle. They are disgustingly self-centred and littered with spelling mistakes. Make that .